18 Years

Today is a birthday or anniversary of sorts. 18 years ago, at about 11pm in a tiny room on the 11th floor of a dorm at Bemidji State University, I placed my trust in Jesus. I spent over an hour asking a very patient Campus Crusade for Christ student leader exactly what I would have to give up if I made this huge decision, really not concerned with what I would gain and definitely not grasping the infinite value of the gift offered to me. Finally, I tearfully gave up my will, my plans, and my heart in exchange for this new life in Christ and we knocked on the doors of some friends, waking them up to share the Good News. While this isn't a day I usually mark with more than cursory notice, I've been thinking about the pendulum swing of my faith over these 18 years.

I definitely had an 'Us & Them' mentality when I first became a Christian. I was now 'in' and everyone else was 'out.' I was excited to have a group of people that I could call friends who I had the most important thing in common with. The relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years came to a screeching halt with my new faith. He had heard the salvation message before and just wasn't interested, and I was convicted that our relationship couldn't go backwards and be pure again. God definitely had His hand on me when he led me to a Bible camp for the summer - a different one than I had applied to - a camp aligned with my new beliefs. At this camp I learned that Christians shouldn't dance, so we had a band come play and called it a concert (where everyone danced). And the only music that was allowed on the campgrounds was music on a Christian label, resulting in the first time I trashed all my 'nasty secular music'. I probably would have gotten rid of all my Iron Maiden cassettes anyway. I went back to Bemidji for another year in the fall of 1990, with a promise ring on my finger. I had met Micheal at camp and two years later we were married.

I remember times we threw out more secular music (not selling it because then someone else might be corrupted by it) and other decisions we made based on what we thought a Christian ought to do. We choose our church family by listening to rumors and stereotypes of certain denominations. We knew we couldn't be mainline, that's where I came from and I never heard the Gospel. Sure I could have quoted different creeds and the ten commandments and I knew enough to get confirmed, but I didn't know about relationship. We didn't want to be made to speak in tongues or anything else that seemed too strange.

Now I find myself re-evaluating again. I know there are definite right & wrongs, but I think the should & shouldn't areas are grayer that I ever realized. What is okay for me may not be okay for someone else. Is something making you sin? Get rid of it. Has it become an idol? Throw it out. Do you use it to comfort yourself? Is it temporary? What does God think about it? How does it apply to your life? Does it impede or enhance your relationship with Jesus? All this & more to consider.... Here's to 18 more years!